Page 179 - NyghtVision Magazine Volume 5 #2
P. 179

h.

    life and it had nearly killed    She wasn't about to let go
    me, not once but four times.     of the question, and I wasn't
    I had become so logical and      about to let her push me
    so coldly inhuman that when      into a logical, focused, rea-
    my emotions finally erupted, I   soned, answer. "C'mon, Fal-
    had no mechanism with which      con, someone as bright as
    to come to terms with them.      you surely must be able to
    No mechanism other than log-     answer a simple question."
    ic and reason. So, I tried to    She paused, perhaps waiting
    reason my way through it all.    for me to respond, perhaps
    Except emotions cannot be        hoping that her not-so-subtle
    reasoned with and the more       cut would have forced me
    I tried, the more deeply my      to respond. "When do you
    pain and grief consumed me.      know a photo is good?" she
    Until anorexia took hold of      repeated.
    me. As I pulled away from        I had been asked that ques-
    the conversation for a mo-       tion before - I had always
    ment that lasted more than       been able to deflect it,
    she knew, I remembered the       sometimes less tactfully than
    peace of those times past        at others. I had always been
    before the certainty of death    able to redirect the ques-
    by anorexia tightly took hold    tion and so disarm its pain.
    of my heart.                     But she was persistent, and
    Silently. Still.                 nothing I did pushed her
    I slipped away, into the mo-     away from her desire to have
    ment. Into the shadows, into     her question answered.
    the rising of the chilling of    "Falcon?" she said. "Are you
    the coffee.... Into the forgot-  here? Falcon? Hey!"
    ten silence of the shadows       "The truth is," I began slowly,
    chasing the afternoon light      lowering my voice in an at-
    away from my eyes..              tempt to deflect her intensi-

                                     Spring 2015 | 179
   174   175   176   177   178   179   180   181   182   183   184