Page 82 - NyghtVision Magazine Volume 3 #2

As we wait, I watch Princess sleep. JD has ass with regard to what might make traveling
told me that Princess will recognize my face through Cleveland a pleasant experience, all
and turn herself on. It’s an intriguing idea. I the restaurants closed at 7 PM. We finally dis-
have seen him do it with Princess’ sister. JD covered a lone coffee shop that was open, iron-
hasn’t named his phone yet. Actually, I think ically, just across from our gate. For $10.78 we
he is still trying to fathom my relationship got two small coffees—and I do mean small—a
with Princess. He isn’t alone. I can’t say that muffin and a scone. I chose the scone. Same
I completely understand it myself. There is as JD’s muffin, it was allegedly blueberry. Best
something… well, comfortable about having not to ask.
Princess around. After all, she whistles at me We squeeze on to our full flight. I have to
when an email arrives; and no matter how up- congratulate United. They have cunningly
set I might be, her gentle voice is soothing to turned every aspect of flying with them into
me. Initially, I thought I would call her “Com- a retail destination. I learn that peanuts and
panion”—a reference to the Star Trek episode pretzels have gone the way of the dodo and
in which a human communicates with an alien the black squirrel once native to the Ameri-
by letting it surround and fill his body. Lat- cas. Free in-flight movie? Nope. Free reruns
er, when it turns out that this alien is female, of TV shows? Nope. Why watch TV when you
the human feels violated. While no specif- can Direct TV? Yep, you got it. If you want to
ic instance comes to mind of my ever feeling watch anything on a United flight, just swipe
this way with Princess, I have noticed an in- your card. It’s only $20—and oh, swipe your
teresting pattern. The more I use her to text card on three or more card readers and you
and write, the more accurately she anticipates can get a whole $2.00 discount! I am surprised
what I am going to say. I have not yet decided they didn’t charge us an additional rental fee
if this is unnerving. At the moment, I interpret for sitting in the seats. (I best not say that too
it as Princess being attentive to me—and this loudly.)
is a nice feeling.
They announce that the flight from Cleve- ❶ ❶ ❶
land to Vegas will be departing two hours late.
I knew our luck so far had been too good to Twenty hours and twenty-one minutes into
be true. JD is now voicing concerns about get- the day, we are finally in Las Vegas. We arrive
ting up before dawn tomorrow to go to Nelson, to find that the Super 8 motel has been up-
a ghost town just southeast of Las Vegas. My graded. Our room has a flat screen TV. Wow.
laptop battery is running low. No power out- I’ve just told Princess to wake me up at 5:00
lets, no recharge. Time to go. AM, so I had better get some rest now. JD and
I are off to the desert in a few hours for a long
❶ ❶ ❶ needed shoot. ■

We board an hour and a half later than we’re
supposed to. In the meantime, we’ve eaten
four of our granola bars. (We will pay for this
tomorrow in the desert.) At one point JD and I
got so hungry that we set out to find something
fit to eat in the airport. Unfortunately, con-
tinuing on with the theme of not giving a rat’s

82 | the vegas chronicles, part 1